Turning 180 degrees

Wow, I havent posted anything for so long! I guess so many things happened in so little.

Ok last year I was really upset about my grandpa, he had cancer. He died. It was horrible, I was really sad and so was my mom, that why i didnt have a great christmas!

About new years: for the first time I didnt spend it with my family, but i did with my friends and it was awesome!!

Now i have a job, and I'm doing great in school. Ive got say though, I still watch awkward. and I thing my life right now is a mess!

Guess what? I WENT TO LA. it was amaaaazing, and I feel in love with the city! :) I am having a great year !! Thank you God!

Let me live.

Quick thing: ive spent my whole weekend watching modern family, and wow their lives are amazing! Eventhough there is a old gu married to a young one, a gay couple and a huge family with funny kids. That isnt real for me, Ive got real problem in my life right now. I wish I could move to LA.

Here in Sao Paulo im just an invisible girl who cant be different. In LA id be a normal girl being herself and having fun. God, why cant I just move to LA?

Wild Imaination

Ok, so I always watch tv shows and movies in which there is a very united group of 3 to 6 people in which they are always together, they always call each other, trust each and stuff. They do funny things together, and they are always fun to be around. I never had that. I am not asking for popularity, all I'm asking for is a group of close friends. Ive realized that my school sucks, people in my school suck. How to turn the situation around? Well, all i want is to go to another city in the US and find this. Imagine how cool would it be to live in the suburbs in LA or a small town, pretty cool huh? Just my wild imagination.....

Maybe im the wrong one?

Ok, this idea of having a prince charming is overrated, I guess. I mean, good girls get their prince charming, bad girls get crazy one night stands and all I get is....Nothing. Ok, maybe im dreaming about guys that dont really exist. But i guess im just too sensitive over my grandpa's thing. I guess im the kind of girl who's supposed to be alone...i think. Maybe no, i dont know.

Now I see all of my friends in a serious relationship while im just a girl with a blog, maybe im nto doing enough effort, but should i really put effort into love? Urgh...ok I love how i met your mother, and NONE of them (except lilly and marshall) find their true love before their 30s. I just a boyfriend for now (like Scooter, for Lilly)

The rest is going pretty smoothly, if you can say so. I dont wanna sound negative, i guess im in that phase before birthdays that you are upset.

Still invisible

I went to my student councelleour to finally share my ideas with someone. At the end she told me that crying and being weak for a situation in your life doesn't define you. Once I read that if a person is always happy, then there is certainly something behind that. I wonder if my friends knew that. Dont think so, otherwise they'd probably think that I am fine and happy right now.

The thing about being invisible is that you can actually go through some pretty hard things and no one cares, cause youre not there. I wish my friends would turn around and say: "i love you" or just hug me. But no, i dont this feeling for so long. I makes me wonder, what should I do t make people notice me? Be anorexic? Nah, that involves not eating food... Bulimic? Nah, that involves throwing up your food. But what could i possibly say or do to make people see who I really am.

Lets make this short: i want to wake up and receive 1000 bbms from people asking me how am i doing! But for that, i'd have to tell them that my grandpa is dying and I feel the way I feel...the blog describes by itself. But should I share with them? They are not the right people...not at all, but life is about taking risks, right? And Should I take the risk of telling them?

My friend Bia is acting so ruddily with me lately, she doesn't care for me anymore. Its getting pretty annoying, if there are people around us and she asks "does anyone wants to go to the tuck shop with me?" Everyone says no, but me! And well...she decided not to go alone with me. It seems that she doesn't really care for my friendship in front of other people, she makes me feel like trash! One of the reasons why I would tell her!

I told her things before but the fact that she changed makes me doubt people. Should I share or should I keep it?

Being Invisable

You know what? being invisible has its good parts, no one cares about you or what you do. However I wish people noticed me. Today I found myself on yahoo answers, just answering random questions about love and life and everything, and now I feel like there is something missing!

All of my friends they had a successful relationship in the past or they still have, their boyfriends are in love with them, and all boys I know are falling in love. I feel like I am the one left out, where is my prince charming? Is he actually coming? Am I gonna live with 10 cats?! Or even worse, have a fat husband who cares only about watching TV and eating and getting fatter and fatter!!!

I want a proper prince charming! I want a boy who would be hot (of course, just like nikis boy) sensitive, romantic, funny, smart, dress up well, sense of humor, i dont know...just the perfect boy for me. I feel like Im asking too much, i feel like I'm gonna end up with the opposite of what I want!

People say the more you look the less you get. Now that Im looking for my prince, no ones there. Should i meet new boys? make new friends? I dont know...it seems to me that there are no boys in this world !!

Ive watched awkward (the reason i have a blog), and life seems sooo easy for her and for my friends. I just need a boy who would comfort me with my grandpas situation. The only one helping now is niki, but she lives SO far away form here....i need my prince charming...now.

High School

The thing about highschool is that at first you may think you like it, but there are no exceptions: high school is a jungle, and I am here to survive it