Still invisible

I went to my student councelleour to finally share my ideas with someone. At the end she told me that crying and being weak for a situation in your life doesn't define you. Once I read that if a person is always happy, then there is certainly something behind that. I wonder if my friends knew that. Dont think so, otherwise they'd probably think that I am fine and happy right now.

The thing about being invisible is that you can actually go through some pretty hard things and no one cares, cause youre not there. I wish my friends would turn around and say: "i love you" or just hug me. But no, i dont this feeling for so long. I makes me wonder, what should I do t make people notice me? Be anorexic? Nah, that involves not eating food... Bulimic? Nah, that involves throwing up your food. But what could i possibly say or do to make people see who I really am.

Lets make this short: i want to wake up and receive 1000 bbms from people asking me how am i doing! But for that, i'd have to tell them that my grandpa is dying and I feel the way I feel...the blog describes by itself. But should I share with them? They are not the right people...not at all, but life is about taking risks, right? And Should I take the risk of telling them?

My friend Bia is acting so ruddily with me lately, she doesn't care for me anymore. Its getting pretty annoying, if there are people around us and she asks "does anyone wants to go to the tuck shop with me?" Everyone says no, but me! And well...she decided not to go alone with me. It seems that she doesn't really care for my friendship in front of other people, she makes me feel like trash! One of the reasons why I would tell her!

I told her things before but the fact that she changed makes me doubt people. Should I share or should I keep it?